Part 1, of this series on the Flame of Frith Bridging the Gap healing rituals began with stories of how these rituals came to be, from the collective ancestral field to the lgbtqia+ ancestral subfield, healing rituals and constellation work. These stories detailed how the first Bridging the Gap rituals were done with a handful of people and how pebbles were used for a constellation of lgbtqia+ ancestral spirits.
Rituals like this unfold during the performance. The script is a foundation that leaves room for what is needed. The place where rituals are performed has a certain effect on them, how much varies from place to place. Outdoors the elements are more free, with trees, animals or the landscape itself joining in more easily.
At the Great Heathen Gathering of Asatru-UK, Helsmoot 2024 in August, there was a beautiful circle of trees for our Bridging the Gap ritual, bordered by a fence with a passage between two willows in four places, which felt sheltered, kind and alive. The frith cord around the fence made it a place free from everyday life, a sacred and safe space. It was as if we were simultaneously in Midgard and between worlds in the frithgarth.
Our Bridging the Gap ritual at Helsmoot was amazing, powerful, healing, connecting, moving and so much more. Imagine standing in a circle sheltered by Willow trees. In the middle a line of people representing lgbtqia+ ancestral spirits, and all of us connected by a lgbtqia+ cord. The willows joined in and storm Lilian whirled it’s healing powers. Many ancestral spirits, both lgbtqia+ and allies, were present.
Our ritual began with a hallowing:
Hail lgbtqia+ ancestral spirits!
Hail lgbtqia+ allies in Midgard
and the other worlds!
Hear us lgbtqia+ ancestors!
Let us learn lessons
from your life experiences.
Help us if needed
to restore harmony,
and bring back dignity
in Midgard and the other worlds.
Fight together with us for equity,
justice, equality and inclusion.
Together we are working for a world
where you are free to be yourself
and to be with whoever you want.
All: Hail to all lgbtqia+ ancestors!
With a soulsong the ancestral spirits could express their feelings:
Hear me, know me, see me for this am I.
After a while the living answered with:
We hear you, we know you, we see you for who you are.
Of course, just like any other Flame of Frith ritual all received a piece of the frithcord we used in the ritual. This time it was a cord that represented the many facets of lgbtqia+ expression.
Oliver the lgbtqia+ ancestor post stayed in the UK and found a new home with Suzanne and Kate. By the way, the name was given by a lgbtqia+ woman in the Netherlands.
Coming up with a ritual is mostly easy, even more with describing the outlines. However, putting your experience into words and what a ritual might actually mean to you is another story, because rituals allow us to express what words cannot always say. Often what we experience in rituals goes beyond words and can move us profoundly and touch our very heart and soul. How wonderful that some of those who had taken part in the ritual were willing to share some of their experiences.
Lee: I’ve never felt not accepted by Heathens of Yorkshire or the wider heathen community. I’ve always felt part of our kindred and not some token gay guy. But the ritual I attended at Helsmoot brought up some deep emotional feelings, the words you are one of us and have always been part of us brought tears to my eyes, even though I’ve always felt that was so, but to be told that to your face made me feel really accepted and part of the community. It was truly an amazing and beautiful feeling.
Rufus Bear Douglass: When I attended the Bridging the Gap ritual, I approached it with some scepticism to be honest. I had never attended one of Frigga’s rituals before. I have attended other rituals that had a similar theme, and I came to this one with feelings of really hoping it wouldn’t be the segregated, paraded out tokenism I’ve seen before.
It absolutely wasn’t any of those things. The lgbtqia+ frithcord was passed round and the chanting was really powerful. When the chant changed, to us on the outer circle singing to the spirits of the ancestors, I felt such an incredible wave of emotions of all kinds. It honestly blew me away. Tears were pouring, and I felt an intense presence of the ancestors there with us, accompanied by a smorgasbord of feelings… anger, pain, relief, love, rage, joy. It was so moving. I am not a person who cries at rituals very often, especially public ones! But this one connected with something really deep within me. My favourite kinds of rituals are the ones that are super simple, heartfelt and powerful, and this was exactly that. I have told so many people about how awesome it was since! It was a beautiful, raw, real, and healing experience that I am very grateful to have participated in.
Holly Wyrdwritere: I started training in oracular seidr in October 2021, and when Asatru UK announced that the Great Heathen Gathering this year would be honouring Hel I felt called to attend. While there were several talks that interested me, my main focus was in attending all the rituals, especially Bridging the Gap, held to honour and heal our lgbtqia+ ancestors. I wanted to go to that one for two main reasons – first, I am a bisexual woman that grew up in the 90s when homophobic jokes were commonplace in sitcoms and the like, so I’ve had a taste of the prejudice the world can show to lgbtqia+ people, and our ancestors would have faced much worse. But secondly, and perhaps more importantly, my uncle died earlier this year. He never married, and it was a fairly open secret on my side of the family that he was gay, or at least bi. Unfortunately, he grew up in the 1950s in a working-class area of East London, and was never able to be open or say anything about it. Going through his flat after he died it appears he did at least admit it to himself later in life, and lived as honestly as he could, considering his upbringing. Because of this I volunteered to stand as one of the representatives for the ancestors during the ritual, for my uncle and for all the unknown people whose blood I share who had to hide who they were.
Holding the cord during the ritual I could feel the energy from everyone standing in a circle around us, and felt shadowy figures from the past stretching out behind me as well. By chance I ended up at the front of the staggered line of ancestor representatives, and at the close of the ritual Frigga Asraaf stood in front of me, took my hands in hers, and spoke to me-as-ancestor, saying that we had always been part of the community, and that we were welcome. And it was at that point that the emotions that had been flowing through me but that I wasn’t feeling suddenly hit. Like the water hammer effect in old plumbing systems where you turn the tap off and the pipes start thudding. I had been a conduit, and then I wasn’t, but the emotions kept coming. So when Frigga gave me a hug, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to turn around and hug the person behind me – this wasn’t a planned or scripted part of the ritual – but it was wonderful and powerful to see that spontaneous hug (on my part) passed down the line, person to person, ancestor to ancestor, stretching from present to past.
We were all given sections of the lucet cord that had been used to form the circle and connect the ancestor representatives, and my piece now decorates my ancestor altar at home. It’s a wonderful keepsake reminder of an amazing ritual, but for me it is also something that still connects me to everyone who took part, and also to all the lgbtqia+ ancestors that were there as well.
Sif Brookes: The ritual was evocative, and incredibly powerful. I had expectations that it was going to be emotional, but the impact was clear among those who attended. The lgbtqia+ ancestors certainly made themselves known, gradually at first, manifesting through and around those selected to act as their stand-ins. But quickly, the weight of emotion was immense – the sadness, the joy, the grief, the acceptance– it was an incredibly healing experience. A sort of completion of the circle, connecting us to them. We see them, we hear them, we know them, and we accept them entirely for who they are. Giving them the acceptance that they may never have experienced in life. The ritual was truly special. A standout on a weekend full of rituals. It was much needed, and much appreciated by all of those who attended, lingering for days (and weeks) after its completion.
Bestla Lavender: The ritual I partook and helped out with Frigga, was incredible. The healing that we did to aid the lgbtqia+ ancestors was beautiful, and I feel very honoured to help Frigga and the spirits. This ritual is just the beginning for me. I feel the call to continue the work the spirits have asked Frigga to do.
The Flame of Frith frithgarth
If you are looking for a place between the worlds to connect to lgbtqia+ ancestors you are welcome in the Flame of Frith frithgarth where there is a special part for lgbtqia+ ancestral spirits and people: a safe space within a safe space. The latter is on the edge of the forest, hidden among the trees. It is marked by a fence decorated with all the different flags of the lgbtqia+ community. Others are not allowed to enter without permission. Right next to it is a clearing where all who wish to honour frith are welcome and where both allies and lgbtqia+ people and ancestral spirits can meet. Of course there is also a frith fire burning in both places.